-Dealing With Difficult People-
Martha asks the question: I have a difficult person in my life. Dealing with them is constantly upsetting me. I can’t change my situation right away, so how do I change how I feel?
Dealing with the human mind – nothing is clear cut or absolute. It’s complex, messy , subtle and contradictory. But one thing is generally true: if someone does something and it has an emotional charge for you, then they have touched a wound, dashed an expectation, ignited a secret fear, or reflected back to you an aspect of you that you don’t care to face.
And so if you are interested in changing any limited beliefs that keep you from being as happy and successful as you’d like to be, then these events are gifts. An opportunity to discover something you have never seen before inside you. When you notice it, and only then, you can change it.
You can deal with difficult, challenging people in a way that feels good rather than churns up your emotions. Here are a few useful tips you can use to help you meet the challenge of dealing with those difficult people in your life.
1. Give Up The Need To Be Right. What you perceive maybe accurate, but protracted battles and arguments that go nowhere are all about being right. Agree to disagree with respect. Take action that supports what you want to accomplish. If you need to establish boundaries do so but give up your need to be right. Why? Because it feels good.
2. Don’t Assume Anything. Whether you have know someone for a long time or you just met, you really don’t know exactly what motivates them or precisely how they bend their reality moment to moment. Give up assuming why they did or said something. Ask questions and don’t assume ANYTHING.
3. Let Go of your Expectations. Having expectations about who should do what and how it should be done is a recipe for crisis. Let go of your expectation that one specific outcome is the only way you will be satisfied. If you hold on to the belief…. Every thing will be okay when they______… you may wait an awful long time for when. An expectation is your assumption about what is SUPPOSED to happen. We gave up assumptions in tip number 2, remember?
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Ray Dodd, author – The Power of Belief