BeliefWorks This Week
Jarod asks the question: My teenage son has the most negative beliefs. He’s always saying, “I can’t do it. It’s too hard!” When I suggest that he give something his best effort so he can be proud of his accomplishments, he yells, “So what, who cares!” What can I do to change his belief?
That’s a very interesting question – What can you do to change someone else’s belief; a point of view you disagree with, makes you uncomfortable, or you find completely unacceptable?
As a parent there is something you can do that might work. For everyone else in your life – if you need to change their beliefs… forget it!
You can’t influence someone’s beliefs unless they want to change them. They need to recognize that the point of view of the belief is causing them strife, unhappiness, or pain. Then, and only then will they be open to the suggestion of change.
You can’t “talk” someone into a different belief. That’s because the origin of belief is not words, but experience, emotions, and perception. A belief is a filter we see life through that alters our reality. What we say is impacted by the belief, but is NOT the belief itself.
As a parent ask yourself:
Is this point of view coming from me? Have I modeled this to my child? The old saying: “Do as I say not as I do,” is not an effect model for change.
Instead, model the belief you want them to have. Demonstrate it. Don’t tell them how they should be. Gently help them realize how the limiting belief feels and what it creates. After that it’s up to them to decide to support another belief. It’s not your responsibility, so let it go.
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Ray Dodd, author – The Power of Belief